 Topic: Cycore's bin of awesome and WTF |
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arimak
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I've been toying with the idea of adding a sound to the bard/dancer skills Dissonance/ugly dance... and this came across my table
http://kihei.iiichan.net/rwsound/dissonance.mp3
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Cycore : Minstrel | A Non E Moose : Lord Knight |
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| Sun Sep 13, 2009 9:32 pm |
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arimak
Joined: 02 Mar 2008
Posts: 574
Location: Roanoke, VA
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This just in!
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1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.
5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously cumulative:
* 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread.
* 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
* 96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread.
* 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident.
* 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently.
6. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all people born before 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate.
7. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day!
8. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
9. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and being fed only water begged for bread after as little as two days.
10. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
11. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
12. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
13. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
14. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:
1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
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Cycore : Minstrel | A Non E Moose : Lord Knight |
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| Mon Sep 28, 2009 4:57 pm |
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arimak
Joined: 02 Mar 2008
Posts: 574
Location: Roanoke, VA
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| Fri Oct 02, 2009 6:26 pm |
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arimak
Joined: 02 Mar 2008
Posts: 574
Location: Roanoke, VA
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| Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:43 am |
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marine
Joined: 22 Jun 2009
Posts: 1389
Location: here
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| arimak wrote: | This just in!
---------
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.
5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously cumulative:
* 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread.
* 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
* 96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread.
* 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident.
* 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently.
6. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all people born before 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate.
7. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day!
8. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
9. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and being fed only water begged for bread after as little as two days.
10. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
11. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
12. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
13. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
14. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:
1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools. |
Bread eaters nowadays arent like bread eaters from before , usually 50 year back they asked u bread and if u said no it was ok at much they would call u something , but now if u negate bread to a minor they will rob u and smack u .....
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| Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:18 am |
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arimak
Joined: 02 Mar 2008
Posts: 574
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Who needs watercooling? I don't!
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Cycore : Minstrel | A Non E Moose : Lord Knight |
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| Thu Nov 12, 2009 7:40 am |
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Skye
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Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 777
Location: Funkytown
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| arimak wrote: | | Who needs watercooling? I don't! |
...109°F. Scary!
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| Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:51 pm |
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arimak
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Location: Roanoke, VA
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| Sun Nov 15, 2009 10:26 am |
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arimak
Joined: 02 Mar 2008
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| Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:13 am |
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arimak
Joined: 02 Mar 2008
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| Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:25 am |
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arimak
Joined: 02 Mar 2008
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Location: Roanoke, VA
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| Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:54 am |
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arimak
Joined: 02 Mar 2008
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| Tue Feb 09, 2010 4:17 am |
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arimak
Joined: 02 Mar 2008
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...yea
*flees the incoming nukes*
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Cycore : Minstrel | A Non E Moose : Lord Knight |
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| Sun Feb 28, 2010 4:47 am |
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Skye
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Be expecting 3,000 nukes next time we meet, Cycore.
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| Sun Feb 28, 2010 5:26 pm |
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arimak
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| Thu Apr 08, 2010 12:50 am |
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